Am I Hipster Enough Yet?

A current trend I have noticed in Melbourne is that cafe names are getting weirder and weirder. For example we have ‘A Pillar of Salt’ and ‘Little Sugar Big Salt’, ‘Top Paddock’, ‘Hammer and Tong’, ‘Mr Mister’, ‘The Kettle Black’, ‘My Other Brother’ (where’s the first brother?) the list goes on and on. An attempt to be more ‘hipster’ than the next cafe it seems. My most recent coffee adventure was to “The Vertue of the Coffee Drink”. Yes I do know how to spell virtue, and yes they spelled it incorrectly on purpose (I hope anyway).

Being hipster in Melbourne is apparently the most important thing in the world. In fact, being hipster has become so common, it’s actually SO mainstream it’s MORE mainstream than not being hipster. In order to continually top the hipster-ness of other cafes, new ones have to come up with even more bizarre ideas. Aside from the odd names, you’ll find tea served in beakers (yes the chemistry kind), food in jars (is there really anything wrong with bowls… jars are kind of irritating to scoop food out of), plates on wooden boards (that’s fine I didn’t actually want all the meals to fit on the table), juices greener than grass (I don’t actually want to TASTE the kale) and Japanese tatami-inspired seating (no I am not taking my shoes off, they are a VITAL part of the outfit).

The ‘virtue cafe’ (I’m not going to give it the satisfaction) I recently visited was complete with bloggers (I assume) taking almost constant photos of scenery/drinks/food. I’m pretty sure everything they ordered was just for the photo and they didn’t actually even want any of it. I’m also certain the only times they actually interacted with each other on so called ‘brunch date’ was to give input into which photo to Instagram. The ‘hipster stools’, ie wooden cylinders may have looked cool in theory but were rather prickly… 

It’s certainly a bit of fun though, discovering the weird and wonderful creations that Melbourne cafe designers can think up, and worth a visit if you’re travelling here. Just to counteract the hipster vibes and all, I pranced in with my (non-distressed) leather over-the-knee boots, metallic shorts, Marc Jacobs holographics and Kenzo – as un-hipster as you can get really. Shocking them back into reality ya know.

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Outfit Details:

  • Jumper – Kenzo
  • Shorts – Jaded London
  • Boots – Kurt Geiger
  • Clutch – Marc by Marc Jacobs
  • Bag Pom-Pom – Topshop
  • Rings – Sportsgirl (silver), Alexander McQueen (skull)
  • Earrings – Topshop

One thought on “Am I Hipster Enough Yet?

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